chi day 3

im home... yay! lol, im losing my mind out here without him. Im with my family and i adore this time more than anything else but its like...he's a part of my family...i literally find myself getting sidetracted within my intricate thoughts about him... :(

any ways...im out here until the 1st. until then....is all desi and fam bam time mixxed in with 12 degrees and lots of snow. lol

what do you do when a person is all that you know. All that you can even fathom or imagine...alpha and omega, even so much as a part of you, yet you are but another to them...2 years and i feel like ive become even more disposable over time. Like all that you have learned is how to hurt me more and more over time. Like you enjoy this. Or maybe you don't care. Ive always had to make accommodations for you, those that i would never in life regret...because i simply love you. i don't know, maybe im just too sensitive. Maybe i do this to myself as she says. Or maybe its just beyond me.

any who...imgoing out tonight. Im gonna drink like a fishy and shake my ass on some anonymous guy/girl. lol. adios!